I could, if I wanted to – I just don’t want to

My inner monologue while watching the Olympics:  

Wow, look at her go.  Swimming doesn’t look all that hard.  I bet I could get in shape fast if I  took up swimming.  She doesn’t look all that muscular.  I bet I could compete even… yeah she is younger than I am but heck, look at that Dara person…. CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH  (sound of corn chips being consumed … what? they’re organic! ) …. that’s it I’m going to buy one of those spiffy swimsuits…. I bet they’re expensive though, uhg… I’d probably look like the Michelin man in one of those …. SLURP  (sound of Coke, not Diet Coke, just real, tasty, cold Coke being gulped) … Ooh track, man I used to run like the wind as a girl … wow, look at those guys go.  I should try running …. GROAN – as I swing the easy chair into upright position and head toward the ice cream…. Hmm, I guess gymnastics would be out of the question….