Simplemente Carrie – A Sex and the City Rant
HERE BE SPOILERS: Please scroll down to my post from a few days back about the Indiana Jones movie. What I said there applies here. If you haven’t seen the movie and want to remain virginal, read no further.
Let me preface this by saying that I never saw the series as it was originally broadcast in all its supposed bawdiness. I watched the series when it went into syndication and I could tell there were things being censored out for us simple and innocent non-HBO types. If the movie is any indication of what was cut, the censors weren’t cutting the sexy scenes, they were just trying to shorten up the darn thing. This movie is way too long and has the plot (and the pacing) of a Spanish soap opera. I swear I think I heard the theme music to “Simplemente Maria” when Carrie is beating Big with her wedding bouquet. I mean, come on, Big can’t get out of the car until he looks at Carrie’s face? I know this is sacrilege to die-hard SATC fans, but I never liked Big. I think Carrie should have stuck with Aidan – now that was a great guy and much cuter too. I know its all in the eye of the beholder but, come on, John Corbett is adorable – Northern Exposure, My Big Fat Greek Wedding….. I’ve even forgiven him for taking to singing country music.. …. where was I? Oh yeah, Sex and the City. Also it struck me as the height of stupidity to blame Miranda for “scaring” Big the night before the wedding with her anti-marriage comment. Carrie seems to think that this explains Big’s behavior – its all Miranda’s fault. These don’t seem to be the same strong women that I enjoyed watching on T.V. Perhaps the premise, the characters, and the story are only good in small chunks. After two and half hours (at least that’s what it felt like) and a lot of eye-rolling (from me at the sappiness of it all) I was just disappointed. Its not a horrible movie – certainly its not as bad as say “The Mothman Prophecies” (I don’t care what the IMDB says that was just a bad movie). It just felt contrived and actually a little dated. With the state of the economy and the price of gas, the glitzy, designer name dropping, expensive shoe buying, jet-setting nature of the characters seemed a thing of the past. I know its only been 4 or 5 years since the show ended but a lot has changed. Frankly, I was more worried about Samantha’s carbon footprint than with whether she could remain faithful to Smith. The acting is, well, let’s just say that I’d be extremely surprised if any one is nominated for anything come movie award season. Simply put, its long and has no zazazu.