X-Files … Here be spoilers
Okay – I’ll save the story of my bee invasion for when I have more energy – its a long and convoluted story. But speaking of bees, I did go see the X-files movie – if you are an X-files fan you will know what an important part bees played in the whole mythology – altho’ honestly at this point, I couldn’t specifically tell you what that important part was…. something about smallpox vaccines??? Unfortunately, that is part of the problem with this movie. Chris Carter waited way too long to present us this film. Memories erode over time. Even true aficionados of the show have forgotten what the heck went on. I had to go look up what it was that happened in the last episode and frankly I’d completed forgotten that William was given up for adoption … I seem to vaguely remember that episode had something to do with a white buffalo.
Actually the biggest problem with this movie is the script. I understand the dilema the writers were in – the movie had to appeal to fans of the series and people who had never seen the series. It also had to skirt around the whole impending alien invasion that they intimated was coming in 2012. So they went the route of a stand alone episode – i.e., the monster of the week. Which is great – I loved the non-myth arc episodes. The problem is the story is a run of the mill episode script. I was hoping for something with a sense of humor and a real monster perhaps – something along the lines of Jersey Devil or Post-Modern Prometheus or even Quagmire. Instead, we got a quasi religious psychic mish-mash with a gruesome mad scientist twist (argh – I forgot how much grosser you can get in films than they could get on t.v. – and they got pretty gross on t.v., in my opinion). The check-in on the relationship between Scully and Mulder was fun (I was always a shipper at heart) but I wish they could have trudged in some of the other characters. I know the majority of characters are dead at this point – but you know perhaps just a photo of the Lone Gunmen or a cigarette smoldering in an ash tray – is that too much to ask? The only character besides …. Oh yeah… wait …. SPOILER ALERT *** SPOILER ALERT *** HERE BE SPOILERS **** STOP READING IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING SPECIFIC ABOUT THE MOVIE *****
As I was saying, the only character besides Skinner (and he is brought in at the very end and has maybe, oh 3 lines, if that) that is brought in is that poor Samantha Mulder – geez, enough already. We had closure on that story line like what, seven times, during the course of the show. Her disappearance and/or abduction was explained in a variety of ways. One would think Mulder would have picked one of the resolutions and had done with it. One also wonders, as one does, what Mulder has been doing for six or so years besides cutting out newspaper articles. Would he be content to do that while Dr. Scully pursues her career? And on a side note – stem cell therapy at a Catholic hospital? Really? Does that really happen? Really?
I love Billy Connolly and he is thoroughly believable as the excommunicated psychic pedophile priest (I’m not sure if that’s really a compliment). But unfortunately the story is just mediocre. It was missing that whole paranoid conspiracy theorist “us and against them” mentality which I really enjoyed about the show. I think if Carter had gotten a couple of fans of the show together, they could have come up with a better script. At one point in the film, Mulder is making a call on his cell phone and in his contacts you see listed Bowman, Gilligan and Shiban – the television show’s writers. I felt like screaming out “Yes! Duchovny, please call the writers ’cause this plot needs some help!” Here is a listing of other in-jokes or references to the series that showed up in the movie: “Easter Eggs in IWTB”
All in all, its an okay movie. I’d recommend it if you’re a fan of the show (and do stay until the end of the credits). I enjoyed trying to figure out where the whole Scully/Mulder relationship is at now and the movie does have some fun moments — one of my favorites involves Dubya and J. Edgar Hoover. But it could have been a lot more fun. Please Mr. Carter – try it again and soon – perhaps as a television movie and if you’d like drop me a line and I’ll help you with some plot outlines, ‘kay?