For the past 67.5 days, I have been limiting my sugar intake. Routine lab results showed my blood sugar levels at dangerously close to prediabetic levels. I believe those levels to be arbitrarily set but still, one is of a certain age, one tries … and since I had more lab work to be done in two months time, I figured being sugarless for the next two months would hopefully keep the doc off my back when the next set of results came through.
Anyway, on the 23rd day of my self imposed unsweetened existence, my cousins from Uruguay visited and gifted me with a massive jar of the all that is good in life, dulce de leche. And not just any any old jar – a pound! A pound of good dulce from the home countries.
I will have you know I stood firm and resisted that demon jar’s whispered sweet nothings. Try as it did to position itself in the pantry so that while reaching for beans I would be blinded by the glint of light reflected from its suave caramel creaminess, I did not succumb. Defeated, it sulked behind the tomato sauce cans and shot me sultry looks from beside the olive jar if I so much as glanced in its direction but I held strong.
Blood was drawn today! The die is cast! And until I get the results back in one week I will be sugarfied! In case my blood sugar levels are still unacceptable and I get permanently placed on a sugarless regime, I intend to finish that jar of dulce de leche by the spoonful and perhaps even sprinkle it with the leftover Easter candy that has sat on the dining room table flexing its chocolatey muscles at me (reader I must confess, I fell prey to the charms of a chocolate bunny at one point … it was a small bunny, tiny …. teeny tiny … really …)
Anyway, the point of all this is I went to open the jar and was met by the image above. Well, it’s supposed to be above. … imagine the top of a jar. I almost dropped it – expiration date 02 08 19. My cry shattered windows (but luckily not the glass jar). I wailed, “Noooo!” Eventually I calmed myself and took a closer look. The produced on date (ELAB) was 02 03 19 ??? … it was made to expire in five days???
Yeah, I’m an idiot, sugarlessness made me stupid. This is a product from a outside the US where the dates are not written MM DD YR. The day comes first, then the month, then year. The dulce will be good through August, but frankly I doubt it will survive the night.
Oh, I’m back by the way … at least for now …