A MoonShadow MoonShadow

Archive for the tag “ramblings”

Mortality

I am aging fast. My mortality has become real to me. I look forward and see that at the very best I have 30 years left of life to live, realistically probably more like 20 years left of life and honestly, I could just as easily not see the end of this decade. I never counted out my time like this before. The future was this vast cavern that I was allowed to wonder through at my leisure. Now, the walls have narrowed and I can dimly see the back of the cave. I think my mom’s passing opened my eyes. Time is limited.

With that in mind, you’d think I’d be seizing the day, living every moment like a madwoman. But no, I sit like a deer in the headlights and watch time barrel towards me. Occasionally I snap out of it, shaking my head and realizing another week has passed and projects still sit untouched, things not written, people not communicated with. And then I shake my head again and another month has gone by.

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It’s hot, Africa hot***

Wow – the old blog is quiet. Kind of nice.  Feels like I can write about anything and not get backlash. I can be controversial and edgy and run in circles until I collapse (not with scissors of course ’cause that would be dangerous).  ….. Uhm …. So …. It’s really hot outside. Yup, yup … Kind of muggy which makes it worse.

(snickering from the back of the blog with a drawled out  “insightful. Soooooo glad you’re back.”)

Hey, you know, you can’t just jump into being controversial. You build up to it. Ease into the heavy stuff. Okay fine so I can’t think of anything controversial or edgy.  The heat has me holed up in the recesses of a dark room with air going full blast waiting for night to fall so I can go outside. I really, truly, madly, deeply hate Arizona summers (catch the Alan Rickman reference there – old habits die hard (hah – see I did it again) … This knowing I don’t have any readers is kind of fun. Ooh the sun is beginning to set. I’ll  write more tomorrow.  See ya’!

(“Oooh, how will I sleep!” Door slams.)

————–

*btw – the voice of the blog sounds like Tim Gunn on his snarkiest of days with a little tiny bit of Frank Nelson if you are old enough to remember him.  Google him if not.

***quote from Neil Simon’s Biloxi Blues

Where was I ….

So, I’m late as usual … I’m driving down the street in my sweet new Soul (car, that is, my own soul is the original that came with this body) and the light changes to red so grudgingly I stop, as does the old guy on the motorcycle in the lane next to me. This is an old guy, long grey hair, long grey beard, bandana, aviator sun glasses, denim vest … every stereotype you can think of is this guy. He’s probably in his mid to late 70s. I can feel him looking at me through the window (I always keep the windows closed plus its 113 in the shade and the air works best with the windows closed). He revs, I ignore. He moves up a bit – the light hasn’t changed, don’t be moving if the light hasn’t changed – I ignore. I start hoping the light changes quickly. Oh, by the way, for those that don’t know me – I am prematurely grey – snow white hair … well I guess technically at this age now it may not be considered premature but anyway… my head looks like that of a 75 year old woman but because I’m not wrinkled and as saggy as I should be at that age (no offense to 75 year women) I look better than most 75 year old women.

So anyway, the light changes, I start driving, trying to get away from the original Easy Rider there and he speeds up. He gets in front of me and proceeds to do his little peacock mating ritual dance in front of me. He lazily swings his motorcycle back and forth from one side of the lane to the other in little S type movements, I guess showing off his fine motor skills???? I don’t know, what I do know is I was not impressed. In fact, I was pissed cause the man was slowing me down. I was late and he is lollygagging in front of me. I mouthed a whole collection of not so nice words at the man in Spanish and English hoping he could read my lips, but he just took his sweet time, finally turning off the onto a side street.

I think I’m going to have to dye my hair.

(Silence … I think I hear the word “conceited” being whispered)

So … uhm …anyway, how you been blog? Long time no see, huh!

(Blog raises its head and languidly rolls its eyes at me, checks its fingernails, shrugs and recedes back into the long dark hall of previous posts, as it mutters “Whatever, just remember to shut the door when you leave …. again”)

“I swear, this time it will be different Blog,” I yell out after it, trying to convince myself more than it …. really …. really … this time I’ll post more often …. I will.

Anybody home?

Taking a deep breath, I tentatively take the handle of the door in my hand.  The brass is cold and turning it requires effort.  Pushing against the dry, grainy wood, I attempt to force the door to open.  It creaks its dismay and eventually gives in.  I am greeted by the musty odor of months of disuse.  A faint light from somewhere up ahead (I think it’s the Pee Wee post) allows me to see the spiders that have taken up residence in my absence. Their cobwebs provide a banner of silk string and dead bugs to welcome my return.

I clear my throat from fear more than necessity and whisper, “Hello, blog …. I wasn’t sure you’d let me back in.  I’m sorry I’ve stayed away so long. I kept track of you … really I did…. tried to make sure you were okay …” I wait. My words are met with dead silence.  “I’m back!” I say loud enough to scare the spiders.

From deep back in the darkened hall comes the reply “That’s what you said last time…”

I take a deep breath and flip on all the lights…

“Hi!”

… and then I went all Lady MacBeth on the pigeons’ nest …

The parable of the pigeons continues…..

My dad is 82 and has worked since he was seven or eight (there were no child labor laws back then in Argentina).  Upon our immigrating to the United States, he worked as a housepainter until he retired about 3 years ago.  He explained to me how he would take handles and locks off in order to properly stain or paint doors and then reassemble them.  My dad said that in all his sixty some years of taking apart and fixing door locks he’d never seen one break like mine had broken.  It was not an easy fix.  We couldn’t get the bolt out.  While he worked on disassembly, the four pigeons watched from the roof of my neighbor’s house smirking and chuckling into their wings.  It took well over an hour, a trip to the hardware store, by brother being called in to sit with my mom, a crowbar, jeweler’s pliers and a carajo or two but the locks got replaced.  

After I thanked my father profusely, he  went on back home and I? Well, I turned my cold eye to the empty pigeon nest.  I dragged out the ladder, bleach, Clorox wipes, rubber gloves and the hose and began to work.  Lord, they had gotten twigs and things into the block wall and not just any twigs – oh no, they used bougainvillea twigs – spiky bougainvillea twigs.  I carefully pulled out the pieces of the nest and started spraying and wiping and not breathing too deeply or swallowing out of sheer disgust.  It was everywhere.  Out, out damn pigeon poop…. I got the hose and sprayed everything down, the top of the post, the walls, the garage door, the floor and then swept and swept and bleached… out, out damn poop, carajo!  I wedged a large cat litter container into the spot where the nest had been to discourage re-colonization.  Everything was clean.  The pigeons were nowhere to be seen.

I treated myself to a movie – The Three Stooges. I have been a Three Stooges fan and in particular a Curly Howard fan since childhood.  The movie was uneven but pleasant enough.  It got a few chuckles out of me and many smiles. Will Sasso was impressive channelling the essence of Curly (don’t you roll you’re eyes at me RLL).  I think the movie would have benefited perhaps from being presented in sepia or black and white or even a less vivid color.  I waited for the pie fight and/or seltzer water exchanges that never happened.  Perhaps those are being saved for the sequel which more than likely I would go see.  I would not pay full price to see the movie but I would go see it.  Whoops, I digress….

When I got back home, guess what I found – the kid pigeons hanging out in the rafters of my carport.  I did a little half-hearted shooing with the broom but when I saw how poorly one of them flew, I let them be.  The one that I scared from the beam flew down to the ground and kind of stayed there which worried me – he would really be food for the ferals if he stayed on the ground through the night.  Eventually he flew, very poorly, to the chainlink fence and has been balancing there all night.  His/her sibling is on the post – he/she is an even less proficient flyer.  I’m worried about the fence sitter.  Thought about just going out there and moving him back to the rafter but that would probably terrify him… and me.

We are making progress. I give it a few more days for the kids to get their wings and tails under control and then be rid of them. I may have to buy an owl….

This and that

The best part about owning a house is I can belt out Julio Sosa’s Al Mundo Le Falta un Tornillo
in the shower at 11:30 at night and no one bangs on the wall or calls the cops.

Too quick to judge…

I work Saturday mornings.  The parking lot is empty usually when I get there and I usually get there late.  I roll in with my coffee in one hand and the keycard in the other, grumpy, sunglassed and suspicious of the world.  As I drove up today there was this guy walking across our lot, probably in his 50s or 60s.  He was wearing a quilted type jacket and a reddish Elmer Fudd type hat (the flaps were up).  He was walking slow through the lot, looking up towards the building, staring kind of vacantly and stopping every so often.  And I thought, great, just what I need, some homeless and/or mental guy to start my morning.  So I just kind of fidgeted with stuff in my car hoping he’d start walking again and go away.  Well, he didn’t.  So, since I was already late, I decided to brave it.  He was thin and small enough that I figured I could hit him with my metal coffee cup and take him down (yes, that is the way I think, especially in the morning).  So, I got out of the car.  Looked at him to make sure he knew I saw him and turned towards the building.  And then I saw what he was looking at.  Perched on top of the building was what I thought at first glance was a humongous pigeon and then I realized it was this a huge and gorgeous hawk.  Just perched there, staring out across the horizon.  Wow!  I looked at the guy and realized he wasn’t who I had on quick inspection declared him to be.  He was not badly dressed, he was just trying to keep warm – he looked like a retired professor out for his morning walk.  He was not demented, just mesmerized as I was.  The hawk soon spread its wings and flew up and around behind the building.  I looked at the guy and he gave me a little hand wave.  I waved back.  He continued his morning constitutional and I went into work.

Post, the Second

Okay day 2, post 2 of my post something every day for a month (NaBloPoMo or something like that).  Let’s see what shall we talk about today….  How cold it is in my house right now perhaps?  Yes, let’s discuss that shall we – it will be fascinating…. wait, wait, don’t go I was going to make espresso…

Decided to stay?  Here, have a blankie … So, anyway, I currently have all the doors to the house open trying to warm up the inside to the temperature it is outside (at the moment around 60 degrees outside – it was 50 degrees inside when I got up this a.m.)  Oh, not to worry – I am a woman of a certain age to whom cold is a relative term (or should I say therm – ha, HVAC humor).  I’ve been just fine up to now but it looks like the weather is going to take a turn towards the slightly colder so I’ve got the heating/cooling people coming tomorrow to look at the heater.  Depending on what they quote me to fix it I may or may not be warmer tomorrow.  The warranty expired on the silly thing in May, so of course it waits until November to break down.  Oh that’s right I’ve known about this since early November but haven’t acted on it cause I was out throwing money around like, well, like me – I throw money I don’t even have around – its called “credit” – marvelous invention.   I know, I know I should have spent my employee bonus on the heater rather than an iPhone but it wouldn’t be as much fun…. plus with the iPhone I can instantly check the temperature and weather conditions and my e-mail all without having to come out from under all the blankets… okay enough rambling….

Here, here’s another little something from my shop – we have to pay for the heater repair somehow so feel free to visit the store and purchase liberally (its going to take a lot of $3.25 sales to warm this place up, doncha know).  Click on the image to go to the store – “After All this Time” – please be warned that it does refer to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and if you haven’t read it and don’t want to be spoiled – don’t go there.

I can customize this as a Crhistmas card for you if you’d like.  Just drop me a note at the store.

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